Children ...

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Children ...

Post by Beauitful Disgrace on Sat Apr 23, 2011 5:51 pm

Ive been thinking alot about children and family lately. My reasons for not wanting/having children and my reasons for wanting/having children. I was wondering what you ladies thought about children and families?

My reasons for NOT
1. I dont want to be like my parents
2. I dont want to begin a child into this crazy world
3. I dont want to get into a marriage, have children then have some thing happen like split up or death
4. Im fearful of messing the child up myself

My reasons To
1. a child is a gift from God
2. I want some to call mine
3. I want someone to be proud of being my "family"


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Re: Children ...

Post by Guest on Sun Apr 24, 2011 3:35 am

ok sooo when i had my son i made a promise to myself and him that i WOULD never be like my parents...
im agree w u this is a crazy world i thought it was bad when i was a teenager but now my sister is 11 almost 12 and she knows all about sex and EVERYTHING i wasnt even thinking about that stuff when i was her age i feel very bad for my son as hes growing up cause as the years go by it seems like the more crazier this world gets...
idk wat to say on #3 besides its VERY hard raiseing a child as a couple and its especially hard raising a child as a single parent
dont be afraid of messing the child up yourself hun all u can do is your very best at raiseing a child untill he or she is an adult then the rest is on them unfortunatly they do get to grow up and make their own choices.....

now im not saying run out and have a baby but they are a blessing definatly somedays id like to pull my hair out but i never regret haveing my son wen i wake up in the morning and i see him stareing back at me with his HUGE smile its so rewarding i would never go back and change it if i could ever go back and do all this over again and know what i know now i would do it all over again he is my pride and joy! but it is a struggle everyday to raise him up the "right" way in a christian home i have to try hard everyday.....

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Re: Children ...

Post by GodsBabyGirl on Mon Apr 25, 2011 4:51 pm

I agree on not wanting to be like your parents. I've never had children of my own, but when I lived with my dad I was raising an eight year old and three year old twins, and when things got heated I saw myself reacting how my parents would react and that terrified me. Aside from my fear of acting like my parents, I'm looking forward to being a mother. When I would pick up the twins and my brother from school, they were always so happy to see me, it lit up my world to see their smiles. The unconditional love from a child is the most amazing thing in the world, aside from the love from God. I want to be able to give my children everything I never had, such as a Christian home enviroment. My dream is to be a foster mother though.
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Re: Children ...

Post by Guest on Mon Apr 25, 2011 7:07 pm

wow hun as someone who was in foster care i think that is a great idea to be a foster mother

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Re: Children ...

Post by Beauitful Disgrace on Mon Apr 25, 2011 10:30 pm

I dont have children either but I live with my sister and she has a 9 and 2 year old. I love them to death and they in away are my children but I see myself acting like my mom some times and it scares me and i hate myself for it. I dont want them to feel they have to watch where they step in fear that they may push the wrong button.

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Re: Children ...

Post by rippled_reflection on Tue Apr 26, 2011 4:25 pm

I know what you mean. I often worry about having children because I'm afraid that I will respond to my children the way my parents did to me--and I really don't want that. I sometimes see glimpses of my parents come out when I'm around children and that terrifies me. Just know that you are not your parents. You are a different person. You don't have to be like them. Just because you share genes with them doesn't mean you'll be the same kind of parent as they are. Many kids who grow up in abusive (or neglectful, et cetera) homes grow up to be loving parents who would never treat their children as they were treated.

You are going to see pieces of your parents in yourself (because that is the example you grew up with), but that does not mean that you have to be like them. The fact that you are concerned shows that you are not like them. I can see that you already care about children who have not even come to be yet. How much more will you care when you carry them for 9 months and then meet them face to face for the first time?
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Re: Children ...

Post by Lina on Fri Apr 29, 2011 3:27 pm

hmm i think i do want to be like my parents... but i dont think i can actualy raise a kid. but i think God will learn me to become someone who can. and of course i need a husband first lol.. so its gonna take some time but im 18 so i have time... Smile

one of my friends is 16 and she told me i am like a mother-person, today.. i liked hearing that thro its weird to hear it from a friend. but it makes me think... i do wanna be a mother someday.. when its the right time Smile

reason #1 against:
to bring a kid in a grazy and dangerous world.. tottally agree with yall on that one!!
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Re: Children ...

Post by Jenny201307 on Fri Apr 29, 2011 11:20 pm

Like the other girls said, you don't have to parent like your parents. Learn from their mistakes. When you realize that you're doing something you don't want to be doing with your child, pray about it. Parenting classes could be helpful too. I understand about not wanting to bring a child into this crazy world though. And don't worry about "messing" your child up. Personally, I feel that I can take my experiences and use them to help my children. I know that it's hard for me to talk to my mom about things because I never have and I plan on really stressing communication when I'm older. Don't let fear keep you from having children. I know how close I am with my niece and nephew and I can only imagine how I'll be with my own children. They're precious in every way and definitely a beautiful gift from God.
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